Back To School and Turning Over A New Leaf

*Not quite the expression they had when I told them school starts this week, but it's very similar. Just kidding, the boys are actually pretty excited - we'll see how long this enthusiasm lasts through the year, ha! This photo was actually taken while waiting in line for the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland our last family vacation.

So yes, Summer Break is officially over for the boys and we're looking forward to a great 2010-2011 school year. Brandon will be starting the 4th grade, Daniel the 1st grade, and Matthew - preschool...

Scrreeeeeeeeeeech!!

Yep, Father Time has finally caught on and tis' the year in which I have to let my youngest baby boo boo, cutie pie of a baby boy go off to the educated world of preschool. Yes - a little melodramatic. Heck! It's only 3 hours twice a week. But a mother can only understand the releasing freedom of having your toddler velcro'd to your rear during all times of the night AND day. So, 3 hours/twice a week sounds perfect for now =D

We spent the last couple of months doing summer activities and ended it with a 3 day "vacation" in Disneyland last week. This past weekend we've done nothing but prepare for this coming school year by purchasing Back To School supplies and clothing, getting hyped up for all the exciting new things to come for all of them.

We visited Matthew's classroom yesterday afternoon and I have a very strong suspicion that I had a harder time getting through the thresholds of his class. The moment I said, "this is your school" I don't think his pacifier could have hit the pavement any stronger and his legs run any quicker. He's definitely ready to start preschool and though I'm elated by his ability to transition so easily into preschoolhood, a part of me is sad and kind of jealous of the teachers who will be able to spend those two afternoons with him, while witnessing his curiousity grow.

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Turning Over A New Leaf

Having to make new and more lasting adjustments in life lately, has made me realize that I need to reevaluate where I'm headed and what I want at the end. I may not be in control over outside influences in my life or the fact that life goes on whether or not I want it to, but I still want to be able to function healthy after all that is said and once was said is done and over with.

My children are getting older, though I wish they would stay babies forever despite all the headaches and tears I have cried over the lack of sleep I've had. I woke up one morning thinking, I've spent my entire life waiting for someone else to catch up with me so we can move along in life together and support one another. But sadly as those moments have come and gone, I've found myself alone and bitter, and it saddens me that I'm left alone scavenging for a little company or support.

So, it got me thinking. Now that I don't have to be constantly home with my now preschooler and summer is finally over, wouldn't it be nice to accomplish some of those goals I've been putting in the back burner for most of life?

With that thought in mind, I've enrolled to resume my college classes. I may not have lived my life in the conventional and traditional way, but in a way I think this is better.

Explanation? Sure.

I could have done the "right" thing right after high school and had gone to college, finished in 4 years, went on to medical school and finished in 5 years, then specialized and finished in another 3 years. But heck, what fun would that have been? Right? In today's world, no one ever does things the "right' way anyhow.

I remember telling an old friend/now ex friend about how I wanted to go back and finish school and become a doctor of some sort. She looked at me and said, "you'll never finish. And besides, medical school won't accept you. You're too old." That kind of put a big ole wrench in my life's plan, so all hope died and I refused to even attempt going back to school.

Until....

I realized that who was she to tell me that I would never finish? Or anyone for that matter? Who was I to give my goals and dreams to death? I've never been a quitter in my life and I don't think now is a good time to start. I thought long and hard about whether or not medicine was something that I still wanted to work towards and I knew that there would be a HUGE responsibility to my commitment. BUT, I also knew that there was NOTHING I could possibly do or blame that can prevent me from finishing this time around.

I'm married, I have 3 beautiful sons, I have a beautiful home, and a great support system. Right now, it's all I need to reaffirm what I have known for years now. I'm ready to go back and finish school. Everything I have right now, would be things that I would have longed for as a single college medical student. I know this. And now that I have everythign that I have ever wanted, becoming a doctor is the only thing left on my list that is left for me to accomplish.

I'm hoping and preparing that with a little prayer, a strong will, great time management, and determination, the years will pass by faster than I can worry about it.

It won't be an easy road, but it's a journey I'm willing to take.